Cookie Monster: Oh, hello, this Alistair Cookie and welcome to Monsterpiece Theatre. Today, we present musical story of two monsters who no can get together because … one is inside and one is outside. Big problem! What to do? Well, let’s find out. Here is “Inside, Outside Story”.
(The scene is the back of a building looking onto an alleyway. A woman, Maria, stands at a window above the street, a man, Tony, stands below and two cats sit on a fence next to them)
(sung)
Tony: Outside, outside
Yes, here I am outside
Out in the cold and dark alleyway
I’m here outside
How can she be my bride
If I’m out and she’s in every day?
Maria: Inside
Here in my cozy room
I see my future groom
Yet I can’t hold him tight
‘Cause he’s outside
And I’m inside this house
Day and night
Insiiiiiide
Cats: He’s out, she’s in
Their love cannot begin
Our lovers have not actually met
Rowrrrrr
Cruel fate has goofed
She’s in under a roof (it begins to rain)
And he’s out in the rain getting wet
Rowrrrrrr
Maria: Inside
My heart is nearly broken
Tony: Outside
My clothes are soakin’
Maria: I’m sure you’ll be all right
(spoken)
Tony: Hey, wait a minute, I’ve got it! Tonight I’ll go inside where my true love awaits! Why didn’t I think of that before?! I’m coming, Maria! (he scampers off stage)
Maria: I’ve got it! Tonight I will go outside to find my love! What a bueno idea! Te adoro, Tony! (she scampers out of view of the window)
(sung, after Tony appears at the window and Maria is now on the street)
Together: Oh no, tonight
Must in and outside still be our plight?
That’s riiiiiiight
(the cats shake their heads and leave. Tony sneezes)
(back to Cookie Monster)
Cookie (emotion choking his voice): Oh, oh, boy, me know how they feel. (he picks up a cookie) Right now, this cookie outside me mouth … (opens his mouth wide, then closes it) … oh, ho, tragedy for me tastebuds. No way. (devours it in his usual beloved style) Ohhhh, me feel better.