Robert Mugabe has been the leader of Zimbabwe in Southern Africa since 1980 is the only country to have been a leader since gaining independence from Britain. Robert Mugabe’s famous quotes are even more popular than the veteran himself.
Known as Africa’s oldest leader, he was born in 1924 and took office as President in 1987 – more than three decades ago.
He has often been criticized for corruption and human rights abuses, with interest groups warning of his ongoing human rights violations.
Arguably the oldest sitting African president, President Robert Mugabe is known for his witty and sometimes unconventionally sarcastic quotes, popularly known as Robert Mugabe quotes.
As thousands continue to celebrate Mugabe, Buzzkenya considers some of the funniest and most controversial quotes he has dropped in all his years of political life.
Robert Mugabe Quotes on Relationships and Lifestyle:
1. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend didn’t wish you Happy Mother’s Day or sang Sweet Mother to you, you should stop breastfeeding him.
2. If you’re ugly, you’re ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.
3. If you’ve attended 100+ weddings in your life and you’re still single, you’re no different than a canopy.
4. Any man who can successfully convince a monkey that honey is sweeter than a banana can sell condoms to a Roman father.
5. Whenever things seem to be going well in your life, the devil comes and gives you a “girlfriend”.
7. If more than 15 men have sucked your boobs, you don’t have to refer to those things as “your boobs.” It’s called COWBELL, OUR MILK! Repeat after me, OUR MILK!
8. It’s hard to charm African girls these days. Every time you take a chunk out of the witch doctor’s hair, either an innocent Brazilian woman gets angry or a factory in China catches fire.
9. All I keep hearing is, “No sex before marriage?” If that was God’s plan, you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.
10. Men sucking a woman’s breast is normal because the act was learned in infancy when they were young, but the act of the woman sucking men is what baffles me. Where did you learn it from?
11. It’s cool to date a slim/slender man. The problem is, when you lie on his chest, his ribs draw Adidas lines onto your face.
12. Respect pregnant women because walking around with evidence that you’ve had sex isn’t easy.
13. Some of today’s girls can’t even jog for five minutes, but they expect a guy to lay in bed with you for two hours? Her selfishness requires a week-long crusade.
14. I stopped trusting ladies when my third grade friend left me for another boy because he bought a pencil sharpener with a mirror.
15. Nothing confuses a woman quite like being in a relationship with a “broke” man who is very good in bed.
16. Witchcraft is when a 24-year-old girl who can’t jog for five minutes expects a 40-year-old man to lie in bed for an hour.
17. Getting dumped by a black girl is the worst thing that has ever happened because whenever you come home and see charcoal, you get emotional.
18. Women of beauty and no brains, it’s your private areas that will suffer the most.
19. Sometimes you look back on girls you passed off as men instead of sending it to your mother and you realize that witchcraft is real.
20. If you are married and attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.
21. It’s every man’s dream to one day take off a woman’s pants, but NOT when she’s on a dry line.
22. Virginity is the best wedding gift a man would receive from his newlywed wife. However, lately there is nothing more as such as it has already been given out as a birthday present, a token of appreciation, job security, church collecting, exam advert and truck fares! ”.
21. Treat every part of your towel well because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.
22. We live in a generation where people who are “in love” are free to touch each other’s private parts, but can’t touch each other’s phones because they are “private.”
23. Ladies, please don’t buy a selfie stick if your armpit itself needs a shaving sponge.
24. It’s better for a man to be stingy with his money because he’s tried hard than for a woman to deny you a hole she didn’t drill.
25. Sometimes you look back on girls you spent money on instead of sending it to your mother and you realize that witchcraft is real
Robert Mugabe Quotes About Gay Marriage:
26. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow same-sex couples to marry in my country (Zimbabwe), he has to come here so I can marry him first.
27. Satan wasn’t gay either. he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.
28. Archbishop Tutu said it was nice to be gay but he had a wife. He should have found a man for a woman first. We will not compromise our tradition and will tolerate homosexuality. We need continuity in our race and that comes from women and not from homosexuality. John and John, no; Maria and Maria, no… I keep pigs and the male pig knows the female. “
29. If you take men and lock them in a house for five years and tell them to have two children and they don’t, we will cut off their heads.
Robert Mugabe quotes about himself:
30. I’m still the Hitler of the time. This Hitler has only one goal: justice for his people, sovereignty for his people, recognition of his people’s independence and their rights over their resources. If this is Hitler, then let me be Hitler ten times over. That’s what we stand for tenfold. ”- March 2003.
31. I have died many times. I actually hit Jesus Christ because He only died once.
32. A brave man is the one who has a running stomach and still wants to get flat.
Robert Mugabe quotes about drinking alcohol
33. A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other.
34. Do not drink at all, do not smoke, you must exercise and eat fruits and vegetables
Robert Mugabe quotes on gender equality
35. It is not possible for women to be equal to men
Robert Mugabe quotes on colonialism and sustained leadership
36. “Wasn’t there enough punishment and suffering in history that we were uprooted and made helpless slaves, not only in new colonial outposts but also at home” – Undated.
37. When a goat goes missing, the aroma of a neighbor’s soup becomes suspicious.
38. South Africans will knock over a statue of a dead white man but won’t even try to hit a live one. Still, they can stone a black man to death just because he’s a foreigner.
39. Mr Bush, Mr Blair and now Mr Brown’s sense of human rights excludes our people’s right to their God-given resources, which they believe must be controlled by their loved ones. I am called a dictator because I rejected this view of the supremacists and disappointed the neo-colonialists.
40th Journalist: Don’t you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as President?
Mugabe: Have you ever asked the Queen this question or is it only for African leaders?
45. Interviewer: Mr. President, when do you bid farewell to the people of Zimbabwe?
Robert: Where are you going?
46. What’s the problem? We now have planes that can bring them back faster than the ships of their ancestors.
47. Whoever swallows a whole coconut has absolute confidence in their anus.
48. The only warning Africans take seriously is LOW BATTERY.
49. The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.
50. We don’t mind if sanctions ban us from Europe. We are not Europeans.
51. If your clothes are made of cassava leaves, do not take a goat as a friend.
52. Only God who appointed me will remove me.
53. The white man is not native to Africa. Africa is for Africans. Zimbabwe is for Zimbabweans.
54. We fought for our country, we fought for our sovereignty, small as we are, we won our independence and we are ready to shed our blood… So, Blair, keep your England and let me be my Zimbabwe to keep.
55. If we were to choose between losing our sovereignty and becoming a member of the Commonwealth, or retaining our sovereignty and losing membership of the Commonwealth, I would say we should let the Commonwealth go.
On corruption in Nigeria
56. “Are we now like Nigeria where you have to reach your bag to get something done? You board and sit on a plane in Nigeria and the crew loafs around non-stop without getting off while they wait for you to pay them to fly the plane. “- March 2014.